John asks:
First question: Where does my new name go? I am John Justin-Martyr Charles Wright? Or does it go after my middle name: John Charles Justin-Martyr Wright? Do I use the whole saint’s name (Justin Martyr) or only his Christian name (Justin)?
Mark Shea replies:
In answer to your questions: Your birth name has been erased from all records, both written and electronic. You are now always and only Justin Martyr to us, the perfect Philosopher Spy. You will do as we bid, go where we command and think only what we allow. Your identity has been erased and all who knew of your existence have been liquidated. You report directly to the Vatican. Your password is “Lancer”.
The part of particular interest to me is: all who knew of your existence have been liquidated. This is the kind of thing you wish your husband would have bothered to check on before he had the whole family annihilated.
Luckily, while my church is not so fortunate as to have albino monk assassins (you got to admit that kind of thing is cool!), we do resurrect the dead.* So, thanks to their timely prayers, I and the children have survived our encounter with the Vatican Cleaners and will live to breathe another day.
*I collect accounts of people in my church who have raised the dead through prayer in recent years. Currently, I am aware of at least fifteen accounts, if one counts both people and animals restored to life. This does not include the time my prayers brought John back. I don’t include that because I did not have any proof he was actually dead.
On the other hand, there is the following interesting fact: at the time of our car accident, John was a vituperative atheists who thought that there was no soul, that prayer was nonsense, and that life ended with the body – and he continued to believe this for about 15 years after this event. And yet, even though I had not told him — or anyone else — that I thought he might have died, John went around telling people that he’d died and I had brought him back. He even started a novel he never completed based on a related premise.
How he explained this conviction of his in his atheistic mindset, I never found out.
Very pleased that you survived the Vatican Cleaners. I was somewhat concerned earlier [g]
It was a close call, but the angels waiting on the other side rolled their eyes and informed us we had more work to do, so we would not be allowed to pass through the pearly gates just yet.
Figures that, while everyone else is treated to grace and heavenly choirs, I would get stuck with the uppity angels.
Those dratted uppity angels!
at the time of our car accident, John was a vituperative atheists
Now, he’s a vituperative Catholic. But he’s well-written, polite, intelligent and hecka funny, and so I love to read both his books and his blog :)
He’s a kinder, gentler John than in the old days…but this is good! The humor stayed.
Agreed!
Although “new John” seems normal to me now.
And thank heavens you stuck with him.
I always get annoyed when the whole believers shouldn’t marry non-believers thing gets brought up. The speaker usually refers to that instance (Old Testament)when the Israelites were told to put away their pagan wives and they complied, also ditching their halfling children in what is to me at least clearly an effort to cut down on political problems down the road.
The subject never really came up because John is like this holy warrier devoted to Truth…always was.
Since I believe God is Truth, I saw it as him pursueing God, but being uncomfortable with certain names and ideas of what He was…so I figured John would find his way eventually.
Also, right when we were first getting together, I read a biography of C.S. Lewis. His youth and then conversion sounded so much like John to me that it just kind of got in my head that this might eventually happen to John, too — so I never worried about it.
Would you happen to have any records of these resurrections or links to accounts of them? I would be anxious to learn more about them.
I keep a record of the stories told to me, but unfortunately, I didn’t keep any information about where many of them came from. Though others I do know. Some are much more impressive than others.
I can email it, but I don’t feel comforable posting it. If you can find a way to give me your address, I could send it. If you go here and click on Miss Miranda, you can reach me: http://www.sff.net/people/lamplighter/Mabnotebook.htm
If you now consider yourself a member of the Catholic Church, add a computer.
My computer died.
Solidly.
Much crying and wailing and praying ensued.
It came back.
Yes, it’s silly, and foolish as…as praying for a beloved old dog to not really be dead. And I’m nearly ashamed to admit I love my computer like a pet.
Yet it is true.
Thank you, God, for helping me.
I am not a Catholic, only John, but I’d be happy to add that. No reason to limit things to my church alone.
We also brought a computer back through prayer once!
*bow* Thank you.
My dad is much the same– since ’81 he’s been an enabler to the Church.
I hope– and please don’t take offense– that you’ll come home to us someday.
I love you anyways.
That’s sweet of you! But I’m really happy where I am.
I’m glad that John has found his way to a place where he feels at home!
But I’m really happy where I am.
So’s my dad. (born classic protestant to Scot-immigrant folks–goes to Mass sometimes to make Mom feel better)
He still goes to Church more than the C and Es. (Christmas and Easters)
(BTW– yes, bags of Cheerios work REALLY well to keep the kids quiet until they can get the idea of Mass. I can ask mom for more tips if you like.)
I don’t foresee that it will come up often (it will never come up at all if Juss has his way. I won’t repeat the things he’s said about having had to go to Daddy’s church!) but in case we do take them again for some special occasion, tips couldn’t hurt…beside, they might be useful other places, too!
Do you have any problems taking them to your own church, or is there something different there so that it’s not an issue?
In our church, children attend Sunday School until they are 20, so the issue of sitting still is much reduced. (My kids do have sitting still issues in Sunday School, but only during the opening and closing hymn singing part. The rest of the time they are in their separate classes.)
I love our Sunday school. I was not allowed to go as a child — my father disapproved of organized religion and would not let Mom take us to church. But I did get to go a few times at my grandmother and a bit in college. — I’m really grateful that my children have this opportunity to attend!
Wow, 20? No ‘you’re an adult at 18’, eh? :) How does the Sunday School thing work? Are there a couple teachers who take them to the classrooms during your service? (If so, when do the teachers get to go to service?) Is it divided up by age, or are they all together? Catholics don’t usually have Sunday School, although some parishes will take certain age-ranges of kids out for their own bible readings/homily.
Mom also suggests coloring books and setting near the back so you can slip out.
(took a little while for a reply, they’re calving right now)
‘Daddy’s Church’
They might eventually be persuaded to go again once they realize that it isn’t three hours long EVERY TIME. It’s usually just an hour, unless the pastor gives homilies like ours does…;)
Very pleased that you survived the Vatican Cleaners. I was somewhat concerned earlier [g]
It was a close call, but the angels waiting on the other side rolled their eyes and informed us we had more work to do, so we would not be allowed to pass through the pearly gates just yet.
Figures that, while everyone else is treated to grace and heavenly choirs, I would get stuck with the uppity angels.
Those dratted uppity angels!
at the time of our car accident, John was a vituperative atheists
Now, he’s a vituperative Catholic. But he’s well-written, polite, intelligent and hecka funny, and so I love to read both his books and his blog :)
Would you happen to have any records of these resurrections or links to accounts of them? I would be anxious to learn more about them.
If you now consider yourself a member of the Catholic Church, add a computer.
My computer died.
Solidly.
Much crying and wailing and praying ensued.
It came back.
Yes, it’s silly, and foolish as…as praying for a beloved old dog to not really be dead. And I’m nearly ashamed to admit I love my computer like a pet.
Yet it is true.
Thank you, God, for helping me.
I am not a Catholic, only John, but I’d be happy to add that. No reason to limit things to my church alone.
We also brought a computer back through prayer once!
*bow* Thank you.
My dad is much the same– since ’81 he’s been an enabler to the Church.
I hope– and please don’t take offense– that you’ll come home to us someday.
I love you anyways.
I keep a record of the stories told to me, but unfortunately, I didn’t keep any information about where many of them came from. Though others I do know. Some are much more impressive than others.
I can email it, but I don’t feel comforable posting it. If you can find a way to give me your address, I could send it. If you go here and click on Miss Miranda, you can reach me: http://www.sff.net/people/lamplighter/Mabnotebook.htm
He’s a kinder, gentler John than in the old days…but this is good! The humor stayed.
That’s sweet of you! But I’m really happy where I am.
I’m glad that John has found his way to a place where he feels at home!
But I’m really happy where I am.
So’s my dad. (born classic protestant to Scot-immigrant folks–goes to Mass sometimes to make Mom feel better)
He still goes to Church more than the C and Es. (Christmas and Easters)
(BTW– yes, bags of Cheerios work REALLY well to keep the kids quiet until they can get the idea of Mass. I can ask mom for more tips if you like.)
Agreed!
Although “new John” seems normal to me now.
And thank heavens you stuck with him.
I always get annoyed when the whole believers shouldn’t marry non-believers thing gets brought up. The speaker usually refers to that instance (Old Testament)when the Israelites were told to put away their pagan wives and they complied, also ditching their halfling children in what is to me at least clearly an effort to cut down on political problems down the road.
I don’t foresee that it will come up often (it will never come up at all if Juss has his way. I won’t repeat the things he’s said about having had to go to Daddy’s church!) but in case we do take them again for some special occasion, tips couldn’t hurt…beside, they might be useful other places, too!
The subject never really came up because John is like this holy warrier devoted to Truth…always was.
Since I believe God is Truth, I saw it as him pursueing God, but being uncomfortable with certain names and ideas of what He was…so I figured John would find his way eventually.
Also, right when we were first getting together, I read a biography of C.S. Lewis. His youth and then conversion sounded so much like John to me that it just kind of got in my head that this might eventually happen to John, too — so I never worried about it.
Do you have any problems taking them to your own church, or is there something different there so that it’s not an issue?
In our church, children attend Sunday School until they are 20, so the issue of sitting still is much reduced. (My kids do have sitting still issues in Sunday School, but only during the opening and closing hymn singing part. The rest of the time they are in their separate classes.)
I love our Sunday school. I was not allowed to go as a child — my father disapproved of organized religion and would not let Mom take us to church. But I did get to go a few times at my grandmother and a bit in college. — I’m really grateful that my children have this opportunity to attend!
Wow, 20? No ‘you’re an adult at 18’, eh? :) How does the Sunday School thing work? Are there a couple teachers who take them to the classrooms during your service? (If so, when do the teachers get to go to service?) Is it divided up by age, or are they all together? Catholics don’t usually have Sunday School, although some parishes will take certain age-ranges of kids out for their own bible readings/homily.
Mom also suggests coloring books and setting near the back so you can slip out.
(took a little while for a reply, they’re calving right now)
‘Daddy’s Church’
They might eventually be persuaded to go again once they realize that it isn’t three hours long EVERY TIME. It’s usually just an hour, unless the pastor gives homilies like ours does…;)