The diary of Effie the Gypsie Princess was written by our friend Brian.
Episode One is here.
(art credit — this seems to be a character from Game of Thrones.)
Old gypsy tale tells of great hero to the gypsies, Robin Hood. This Robin Hood took from those who had plenty and gave to gypsies, it is known.
Effie dreamed of being like this Robin Hood and now it is true.
It all started like any other day in our haunted, run-down house.
Effie prepared breakfast for her family early in the morning to prepare for day of finding bad guys for money.
Across the street, another family, lives in a house like ours. Our breakfast was interrupted when outside, the wife, who is nice and all, was crying and screaming. When we went to investigate and learned that a Count Bartholemew (another from the board of wanted criminals) had kidnapped her husband, because he could not pay loan payment of 10 Berries.
The party decided to set out to save her husband but did not know where to go. Black Hawk stopped to question some man for directions to a pawn shop that some thugs ran for the Count. The man gave us directions, but they were rather long consisting of at least 1 or 2 turns that easily confused Black Hawk, so Effie decided to act upset to get the man to lead them. Trilby, though, reminded Black Hawk that she would remember, and, while the man was busy trying to comfort the ‘upset’ Effie, told him he was no longer needed. Effie being raised by gypsies couldn’t resist the opportunity and picked the pocket of the man for a few Berries before he started off.
The party full of mind readers and just generally observant people all noticed what Effie had done. Ager immediately told her to give it back. Black Hawk and Trilby both agreed. Effie tried to explain that the man clearly left it laying about in his pocket for others to take but that argument went over like a lead airship. Black Hawk explained that we could only take things from bad people and tracked down the man to return his money. The man asked where Black Hawk got it from and stared at Effie, perhaps he was still taken by her beauty.
Effie asked to return to the house to use the bathroom before they set off, and, while there, changed her clothes not once but several times before settling on an outfit to go out adventuring in. Now properly dressed she was ready to head out no longer worried that any blood Ichigo spilled would show as much should it get on her.
The group followed the directions that the man gave precisely because Trilby, with her perfect memory, was able to make sure we did not deviate.
On the way to our destination the party saw signs of disturbances in the force. There were turned over cabbage carts and other various fruit vendors. There were people complaining of Angry Panda who was trashing the place.
Effie said she heard of this Angry Panda and his notorious group the Infuriating Five, even though there were at least 6 of them.
Continuing down the street the signs of Angry Panda passing grew more frequent, fresher, and soon the noise ahead alerted the group that they had caught up to Angry Panda.
Angry Panda was a large angry panda wielding a flaming sword. Even worse he was not alone he was with the rest of the Infuriating Five, Mantis, Tigress, Monkey, Snake, and Crane all of which were causing trouble.
In a flash, Ichigo unsheathed his giant sword and challenged Angry Panda to a duel. Black Hawk summoned his legendary black hawks, and Trilby summoned up the mice of the area.
Snake ate a mouse then quickly dashed into a drain pipe and was not seen again. Monkey looked like he had pilfered the pants of some man as he took off jumping from roof top to top with 20 some hawks chasing after him not to be seen again.
Crane leaped at Black Hawk and pecked him once in the head.
Effie did a small dance around Crane and, in doing so, caused the fire from Angry Panda’s sword to leap up and strike Crane, cooking him perfectly in the process.
Ichigo, in a terrible fury, struck with his blade, just as the fire from Angry Panda flew past Angry Panda’s face cleanly removing his panda head from his panda shoulders.
Black Hawk closed in on Tigress who was being harassed by 20 black hawks and with a quick precision strike killed her with a clean blow to the heart.
Trilby sent what seemed like a tidal wave of mice over Mantis, who put up a valiant fight, but was eventually overwhelmed and begged for mercy.
The Infuriating Five, now Infuriating Four, with 2 members having fallen.
Black Hawk granted Mantis his request, but when he learned Mantis had little ransom value, turned Mantis over the local constables. Black Hawk also gave the constables the body of Angry Panda.
The party kept the head of Angry Panda, the well cooked Crane, the corpse of Tigress, and the once flaming sword of Angry Panda as loot.
Effie got to keep the sword, Black Hawk wanted the Tigress pelt, Ichigo got the panda head, and Trilby got the well-cooked Crane.
Trilby had her mice borrow a bag from someplace to put the crane in and asked her mice to return the crane to the house for her.
Ichigo, in a show of skill, did a quick cut with his sword and was able to remove enough of Tigresses body from her pelt that Black Hawk’s black hawks could carry the pelt back to the house for him.
What Ichigo did with the panda head is not clear, but, to be fair, some things are best not known.
Effie keep the sword and carried it with her.
Effie was a bit confused why Trilby could have mice steal a bag and that was OK, but it was not OK for her to pick up loose change from the man’s pocket. As the party debated why one was OK and not the other, a nearby merchant was complaining that mice carried off a bag of his. Ichigo offered the man 1 Berry for payment of the bag which Black Hawk picked up and said not to pay, the bag would return soon. Ichigo took the Berry back and gave it to the man who, amazed to get a Berry for a bag, took off running.
The party then started back off following a giant moving arrow made of white mice all the way to the pawn shop.
Inside the pawn shop was a bunch of stuff and jewelry. Effie wanted to try on all the jewelry and asked to do so while the others tried to question the owner.
A heated discussion broke out about meeting the Count now, and Black Hawk grabbed the owner by his shirt to make a point, but when he did so blue sparks came out of the back room and surrounded Black Hawk freezing him in his tracks.
At this moment, black hawks started to peck at the doors and windows, which Ichigo let in. One of the thugs started to call pigeons but they did not fare well against hawks. Trilby sent her mice looking through the shop, Effie used the chaos to start cleaning the place out of all the jewelry, and Ichigo calmly watched waiting for a signal to act from Black Hawk.
Effie, while cleaning out the jewels, is surrounded by blue sparks, which freezes her, but she is able to break free in short order by trying to focus on dancing.
Meanwhile, there is still a lot of commotion as the thugs try to free their boss from the frozen grasp of Black Hawk and have to cut his shirt off to free him.
The boss starts yelling for us to get out, or he is calling the constables, and one of the thugs draws a bow, with an arrow knocked at Effie telling her to back away from the property.
Black hawks fly into the face of the man with the bow, and his arrow goes well wide. The hawks start pulling at the man’s bow and successfully pull it free. The man then pulls a gun, but as he does so a black hawk lands on the head of Ichigo.
Ichigo, who had been calmly watching it all, leaps to life in that instant, closing the distance to the man who has gun in hand, and, in a quick sweep of his sword, knocks the gun out of the man’s hand. The man takes off running in that instant to escape towards the back room.
Unfortunately for him, Trilby and her rodent friends had found the kidnapped man in the back room. The mice had chewed the ropes off of the kidnapped man, who punches the fleeing thug out as he is trying to escape.
Effie tells the party that her gypsy sight says they should flee now before the constable comes. Effie picks up the frozen Black Hawk and sets him outside like a statue outside a cigar shop. Trilby and Ichigo follow suit as the owner yells after the party that the Count will get us for what we have done.
The party, once back at the house, start talking about how to divide up the loot from the pawn shop. Effie is loathe to part with her bag of jewels.
Black Hawk goes across the stree to check on the woman and her husband to find both are in good shape. Black Hawk has the lady come back and talk to Effie about her outfits during which time Effie shows the woman various items of jewelry and tells her stories about how she got them from various made up relatives.
Black Hawk insists that loot has to be divided fairly, and Effie storms off in a huff not wanting to give up the jewelry slamming the door to her room. The lady from across the street, believing Effie’s stories about the jewelry being family heirlooms, tells Black Hawk he is mean to want to take Effie’s family jewelry from her. Black Hawk gets the lady to divide the loot into 4 piles one of which is for Effie and to place any so called heirlooms of hers in that pile. The lady still feeling bad for Effie divides the loot as asked but puts the most valuable items in Effie’s pile.
Ichigo doesn’t want any of the loot though, and Black Hawk has Ichigo’s share distributed between the 3 other piles. Black Hawk then pens a letter to the newspaper telling people they can come to the house to claim any items that they pawned if they have the ticket and appropriate funds. Black Hawk has the lady take the letter to the paper for him.
Effie returns from her room , wearing yet a different outfit, angry over the loot thing because she wanted the jewelry.
Ichigo starts repairing the house and goes out and buys cleaning supplies. Black Hawk finds a hidden chest in the house, but Ichigo tells him to put it back it belongs to the ghost living in the house. Black Hawk agrees but on the condition the ghost has to help guard the house at night and warn us if there are intruders. The ghost agrees, (or at least, Ichigo says he did), and Black Hawk returns the chest.
Ichigo tries to get Effie to clean, but she is angry and refuses saying she does not clean. Effie says she does do things like cook though and although she is a vegetarian herself gathers up some random vermin and burns to a crisp to serve to Black Hawk and the others.